Spellbound
by SenatorBonteri
Summary: Moralo Eval has challenged the citizens of the galaxy to a spelling bee. How does it go? Read and find out.


A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away…

Rebel Warlord Lux Bonteri was in the middle of overseeing the construction of a war cruiser for his fleet, one day, when suddenly an open transmission came through everyone's holo-communicators. Apparently, it was a message for the entire population of the outer rim. The guy it came from was an escaped convict named Moralo Eval. Lux wondered what he had to say. Then the crook started to speak. "Citizens of the galaxy… galactic empire, rebel cells, and neutral systems alike… Moralo Eval has a bit of an entertaining show to put on for you all, in the midst of this galaxy wide crisis, to take your tiny little minds off of the fact that war seems to be just about everywhere… especially these days." He paused and then said, "I challenge whoever's feeling competent enough to take me on in a spelling bee! It will take place on Nar Shaddaa… and whoever wishes to join in as a contestant needs to pay 100,000 unmarked credits to be signed up. The reward for the winner will be all the money donated by everyone who signed up combined into one payment!" Lux already had enough credits to last him a long while, but he had to admit this spelling bee sounded like a great idea. Then the convict finished his speech. "So who wants to put their spelling of words spoken in the common tongue to the test? Feel free to accept my challenge! All of you! But Moralo Eval thinks he's going to win this by crushing you all, in the end. Hahahahahahaha!" Then he left everyone with the coordinates as to where to sign up for this event.

Then Durbero, Lux's Jedi guardian, asked Lux to be able to sign himself up. "It's been a while since I got a solo mission of any kind, sir. May I please take a leave of absence and do this? If I win, ALL the credits go to fund your military. That's a promise."

Lux said, "Alright. Go ahead. Just stay out of trouble, while you're gone." Durbero smiled a little, gave a two finger salute, and sped off to his Jedi Starfighter to go and do it.

Now, since the galactic empire had at least partial control over Nar Shaddaa, Durbero put on a disguise before signing himself up. He was entered to be the last contestant. Contestant number 400. If he were to win, the reward would be 40,000,000 unmarked credits to fund Lux's cause. Moralo Eval would be contestant number 1. Now, the night before the event was to happen, Durbero spent the entire day before going over crossword puzzles, word searches, and some flash cards to help him prepare for just about anything the judge would throw at him. But as he was about to head to his bedroom he'd rented at a hotel on the planet, he saw a couple of thugs trying to rape a girl in the empty alley which he could see from the balcony of his rented space. He immediately jumped down and used the force to land safely. Then he used his lightsaber to cut down the men assaulting the girl. The girl stood frozen when she realized he was a Jedi. The empire had caused her and many others to have a wary opinion on his kind. But when he saw the fear in her eyes, he played a mind trick on her. "You need to get home."

She agreed with him. "I need to get home." Then she walked away to her own living quarters. He made his way back to his bedroom and then set his alarm to wake him up on time to get to the building they were having the spelling bee in bright and early, before going to sleep.

When he got to the place they were having it, the next day… he quickly discovered, much to his shock, that nearly ALL the other contestants were DROIDS! There were only a select few living beings who had entered the competition. One was an imperial Inquisitor who was the 36th contestant. Then there were some bounty hunters like Bossk and Aura Sing present as contestants 67 and 76. Durbero recognized Zeb Orrelios from the Ghost crew as contestant number 256. There was also someone who looked like he was from the order of Krygoth as the 304th contestant and an imperial officer as the 333rd contender. Then there was Moralo Eval, who was contestant number one. But almost all the others were droids! Heck. Contestant number 399 was Khilani, the tactical droid from the first battle of Onderon, which took place in the Clone Wars. "What kind of galaxy do we live in, nowadays?" Durbero asked himself.

But then, it was announced that the appointed judge of the spelling bee had supposedly gotten injured in a speeder crash… and had called a substitute judge in. "Great." Moralo Eval muttered under his breath, after all the contestants had lined up in a neat little row across the wide room.

"Karabast," said Zeb. "I wonder who the substitute is going to be?" Chopper, the Astromech droid right next to him, muttered something in astromech language.

Khilani looked Durbero up and down. "What are you looking at?" Durbero asked.

"You may be disguised, but you have the stench of Lux Bonteri on you. You are one of his affiliates, are you not?" The tactical droid answered.

"Quiet." Durbero said.

Then, a few minutes later, the substitute judge arrived. An obnoxious song sang in an operatic voice could be heard outside the room preceding his entry. Then when he came in, everyone recognized the annoying rouge force user the galaxy knew as… BOUND. "Bonsoir! Ima judge zis spelling bee!" He said upon entering. Then he strolled giddily up to the place where the stand overlooking the line.

Khilani and Durbero looked at each other. Khilani whispered, "We're all doomed!"

"Mmhmm!" Durbero agreed and nodded his head quietly.

Now, the rules were simple. You were asked to spell the word you were given by saying the word, then spelling it out loud before repeating the word a second time. If the word had homonyms, you could ask for it to be used in a sentence. If a word was correctly spelled, the contestant would go on to the next round. If not, he lost. The last person left would be the winner, assuming he could spell one more word after the second to last one left was out. After Moralo Eval had gone over these rules one more time, he said, "Now, let the spelling bee… begin!"

A horn blew to start it all off. Then Bound went directly to Moralo Eval. "Contestant number 1, please spell ze word… socks."

The convict gave a confident and wicked smile as he started to give his answer. "Socks. S-o-k-c-s. Socks."

Bound grimaced and pointed a finger at him as he snapped, "Incorrect!" Ultimately surprised that the challenger himself would be the first one to flunk out… and on such a simple word… the whole audience, in the room and throughout the whole galaxy wide broadcast… GASPED. How humiliating! Moralo Eval quietly stormed away and closed the door as he left the room. Then Bound went on as if nothing significant had just happened. "Contestant number…"

Then from the hallway outside, the other contestants heard the loudest… "WHAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAA!"

Bound cringed and said, "Contestant… number… 2. Ahem. Please spell ze word… Juice."

The protocol droid answered, "Juice. J-u-i-c-e. Juice."

"Zat's correct." Then he moved on to contestant number three and ask him to spell the word Pudu…. Which he did correctly. He asked the 4th one to spell the word Bantha. He got it right. Then contestant number 5 was asked to spell the word Sleemo. He did it. Number 6 was asked to spell the word Twi'lek. He did it successfully.

Then the 7th contestant was asked to spell the word loser. Being a battle droid who had been reprogrammed by Jaybo Hood, he replied, "Loser. L-o-o-z-e-r. Loser."

Bound pointed his finger at him and abruptly said, "Loser!"

The entire audience laughed. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The battle bot slumped and walked out disappointed.

Now, when he got to the imperial Inquisitor, Bound said, "Please spell ze word… onomatopoeia."

The Inquisitor asked, "Is that even a word?!"

"Oui, monsieur Inquisitor. It is. You can look it up after zis is over." Bound replied.

Durbero whispered to Khilani, "Yep. We're doomed."

Of course the Inquisitor goofed up. "Incorrect!" Bound exclaimed with a goofy satisfied smirk. Then the dark sider stormed out, quietly muttering curse words to himself… but he'd later discover that onomatopoeia was indeed a word. Now, by the time he got to Zeb, a lot of the droids had flunked out… but the Bounty Hunters were still standing. "Contestant number 256. Please spell ze word… zere."

Zeb asked with a confused look on his face, "Don't you mean there?"

"Ayup. Zat's what I said, right?" Bound answered.

"Eh… sort of." Zeb smiled a little. "Could you use it in a sentence please?"

"Oui, monsieur Zeb. Ahem." Bound cleared his throat. "They're going to build their house over there."

Zeb's eyes narrowed and he said, "Oh, Karabast. Well, here goes nothing. Their. T-h-e-i-r. Their."

"Nope!" Bound smirked goofily as he pointed at Zeb, hinting that he had used the wrong definition.

"Unfair!" Zeb shouted angrily before leaving.

"Such is life." Bound said. Then he turned to contestant number 257. "Please spell ze word… Annoying." The astromech said something in astromech language and sounded grumpy. "Oh wait. You don't speak ze common tongue. Do you?" The droid blurted something else out. "Well zen, you're automatically disqualified. Off ya go!" After throwing a mini temper tantrum, Chopper left the room as well.

"I wonder what he'll do when he gets to us?" asked Durbero.

"Soooo. Doomed." Khilani said quietly.

Now, by the time Bound did get to them… over half the contestants had already been booted out. Then he turned to Khilani. "Contestant number 399. Please spell ze word… Separatist."

Khilani sighed a robotic sigh of relief and then said, "Separatist. S-e-p-a-r-a-t-i-s-t. Separatist."

"Zat is correct." Bound said with a smile before turning to Durbero. "Contestant number 400. Please spell ze word…. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

Durbero already looked somewhat worried. But then he instantly went bug eyed. "You big dirty cheater." He said almost inaudibly. But nonetheless, he did his best… and hoped he'd succeed, though he doubted it. "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. S-u-p-e-r-c-a-l-i-f-r-a-g-i-l-i-s-t-i-c-e-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

Bound went bug eyed too. Then he glanced down at his answer sheet and double checked to see if that was indeed correct. "Well, what do ya know?!" Bound said. "Alright. Fair's fair. You go on the ze next round."

Durbero sighed with relief. "PHEW! I thought I was going to die. Figuratively speaking, of course."

"I was disappointed that you didn't." Khilani said.

Bound started the next round, after a brief commercial break happened. "Ahem. Contestant number 2. Please spell ze word… wicked."

"Wicked. W-i-c-k-i-d. Wicked." The droid said.

"Incorrect." Bound snapped, pointing his finger as he usually did.

This time around, another chunk of the remaining contestants also flunked out… including Aura Sing. Then Bound got the imperial officer. "Please spell ze word… Aye."

"Sentence please?" The officer requested a hint.

"Okay zen. Aye, aye, Cap'n, I will keep an eye on him." At this point, it was abundantly clear that this spelling bee was rigged. The officer spelled the word eye correctly… but sadly for him, it was the wrong word. So, he flunked out.

By the time Bound came to Khilani and Durbero again, they and Bossk were among the only contestants left. This bee was rigged so badly it was brutal. "Oh dear…" Khilani said as the contestant before him flunked out.

"Contestant number 399. Please spell ze word… Dragon." Bound said.

"Dragon. D-r-a-g-o-n. Dragon."

"Zat's correct." He turned to Durbero again. "Contestant number 400. Please spell ze words… Jedi Sleemo." Durbero rolled his eyes in annoyance, but nonetheless answered correctly and spelled out both words. "Correct."

Now, in the next round which took place after another commercial break… Khilani and Durbero ended up becoming the only ones left after the short amount of time it took for Bound to get to them again. "I'm amazed we've lasted this long. Whoever wins, I'm proud of myself already. May the best player win," Durbero said... knowing that all the worst possible people who could have won had already been ejected. He certainly didn't want the Krygothian to win.

Then Bound got to Khilani after he and Durbero had both survived three more rounds. "Contestant number 399. Please spell ze word… Fifteenth."

"Fifteenth. F-i-f-t-e-a-n-t-h. Fifteenth." The droid said… not knowing he'd accidentally slipped up.

"Wrong!" Bound said. Then he turned to Durbero. "Contestant number 400. If you can get this next one right, you win. Please spell ze word….. Uh-oh!"

Bound was stopping to notice that he was out of words he'd prepared to use. But Durbero thought he was being given one. "Uh-oh. U-h-hyphen-o-h. Uh-oh."

Thankfully, Bound decided to just roll with that and get this crooked spelling bee over with. He let out an exasperated sigh and said… "Correct."

The crowd cheered! "YAAAAAAYYYY!"

And as Durbero got his 40,000,000 credits, which he would later ship back to Lux's base on his own with help from a larger ship he rented with his own money… Bound said, "Well, I think zat went wel-AAHHHHH!" The real judge, who as it turned out was just healthy enough to have seen the broadcast and get out of his bed in the hospital and storm to the Spelling Bee to try and stop Bound… had just arrived to rush up and tackle him.

Later, Durbero was back at Lux's base with those credits he'd won. Lux told him he'd done a great job. Durbero replied, "Don't mention it."

Meanwhile, the real judge who was supposed to judge the spelling bee was with Bound alone in the room in which it happened, looking over the word list. He said to the rouge force user… "You cheater." Then as he looked at the supposed word Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious… he promptly crumpled up the answer sheet and threw it in Bound's face. With that, Bound fell backwards onto the floor.

THE END.


End file.
